things that stick to my mind.

"They'd come up with some stomach-churning idea that no demon could have thought of in a thousand years, some dark and mindless unpleasantness that only a fully-functioning human brain could conceive, then shout 'THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT'. " -good omens.

"There are only 2 types of computers in the world: Those that waste your precious time and those that waste your precious time faster"

me : oh my GOD. and i SWEAR-
hui : -bursts into song- IF YOOUUU COME BACK IN MY LIIIFEEEE!!
me : WILL YOU SHUT UP IM TRYING TO BE DRAMATIC TO MAKE MY POINT.
hui : don't you love Blue ?

"For birth control, I rely on my personality. " -Milt Abel

"B-I-M-B-O, B-I-M-B-O, B-I-M-B-O, and hui mian was it's name-O" -stephen

[Guybrush meets a talking skull, Murray]
Murray : I'm a powerful demonic force! I'm the harbinger of your doom! And the forces of darkness will applaud me as I STRIDE through the gates of hell carrying your head on a pike!
Guybrush Threepwood : Stride?
Murray : All right then, ROLL! ROLL through the gates of hell. Must you take the fun out of everything?

Guybrush Threepwood: You're about as fearsome as a doorstop.
Murray: Is it a really EVIL-looking doorstop?
Guybrush Threepwood: [sigh] Never mind.

-Curse of monkey island

"why am *I* Bo? i want to be Bim. MAKE ME BIM !!" -Bo. (liz)

"this will only end in tears" -the bat in Disney's Anastacia.

"Maybe I should drive home; far from sober? And maybe I should sleep alone, 'Cause I don't have a rubber. " -pepper

"Thank you, Lord, for this bountiful penis. " -the flanders kids

"shut up and kiss me like the antidote's under my tongue" -gym class heroes

"Hui mian, what's your name?" -monica wong

father : (sagely) everything happens for a reason
me : confucius get up you're sitting on the sandwiches

Max : It's only Powerline, Dad, the biggest rock star on the planet.
Goofy : Not bigger than Xavier Cugat, the mambo king. Everybody mambo!

"So I took the shotgun off the wall and fired two warning shots... into his head. " -chicago

"It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards." -Alice in Wonderland

"i feel like a chicken wing !!" -mish

"We met it seems, such a short time ago. You looked at me, needing me so. Yet from your sadness, our happiness grew. Then I found out, I need you, too. I remember how we used to play. I recall those rainy days, the fires glowed, that kept us warm. And now I find, we're both alone. Goodbye may seem forever, farewell is like the end. But in my heart's a memory, and there you'll always be. " -widow tweed (the fox and the hound)

"omg bekah you look like CHER!!!!!" -azz

"Women, don't get a tattoo. That butterfly looks great on your breast when you're twenty or thirty, but when you get to seventy, it stretches into a condor." -Billy Elmer

"We bring ourselves down, and build ourselves up in disappointment. How fragile we are, so fragile we are, we just don't show it. We'll shake up this town and shoot down the stars for our enjoyment. So sexy we are, so sexy we are, we just don't know it" -gym class heroes

"could you walk a little faster, set some lightning to a snail. theres a porpoise just behind us and he's treading on my tail. see how eagerly the lobster and the porpoise all advance. do you want to, do you want to join the dance?" -mock turtle

"There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats." -Elton John

"Nearsighted gynecologist." -peter banning (hook)

"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves." -Albert Einstein

"The reward for conformity was that everyone liked you except yourself." -Rita Mae Brown

"i believe that is the sound the green lantern made when sinestro dropped him into a vat of acid.. EEEEE-PAAAAH !" -comic book guy

"When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities." -Matt Groening

Peter Banning : Rufio, if I'm a maggot burger why don't you EAT ME? You two-toned zebara-headed slime-coated pimple farming paramecium brain, munchin' on your own mucus, suffering from Peter Pan envy!
Kid : What's a paramecium brain?
Peter Banning : I'll tell you what a paeramecium is. It's a one-celled critter with no brain, that can't fly. Don't mess with me man, I'm a lawyer!

Lieutenant Daniel Taylor: Have you found Jesus yet, Gump?
Forrest Gump: I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him, sir.

(upon seeing tinkerbell for the first time) "Firefly from hell!" -peter banning

"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love. " -Butch Hancock

"Blast this Christmas music. It's joyful and triumphant. " -the grinch

Smee: I've just had an apostrophe.
Captain Hook: I think you mean an epiphany.
Smee: No... lightning has just struck my brain.
Captain Hook: Well, that must hurt.

"MAX. HELP ME... I'm.... FEELING. " -the grinch

Marge Simpson : Mmmm, best kiss of my life.
Homer Simpson : Best kiss of your life so far.

"Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus." -Bob Rubin

"Listen good, Tod, 'cause it's either education or elimination. " - big mama (the fox and the hound)

"Bleeding hearts of the world UNITE. " -the grinch

"Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to WANT to kiss her?" -Helen Rowland

"you were fucking the girl next door. now why'd you do that for? " -lily allen

"Fate fell short this time, your smile fades in the summer. Place your hand in mine, I’ll leave when I wanna" -blink182

"Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. 'Yes' is the answer." -Swami X

"Show me a man with a tattoo and I'll show you a man with an interesting past." -Jack London

"A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of marble; then you chip away everything that doesn't look like an elephant."